Shaheera (HoL 17)

The company has come and gone. This weekend was a tidal wave of little girls, male baking, football, grandmas, Sunday morning worship, grandpas, Stamey’s barbecue, in-laws, out-laws, a four foot tall wooden statue, a "walk in Aviary", and large quantities of beer. It was a wild, wonderful, weekend that left us exhausted, but feeling very much loved by friends, family, and church.

The excitement started Friday night with the arrival of our good friends Matt and Christina. I’ve known Matt since second grade. Many of you know that for over 15 years, little Matt and I have been passing a heavy wooden statue named “Shaheera” back and forth. Christina is his beautiful wife with a wicked sense of humor and contagious curiosity about the natural world. We drank beer, ate pizza, passed around Isaac, played videogames, and shared stories.

The next morning about 7:00 we got a call that Nancy’s family was in Greensboro, trying to find their way to our house. I hadn’t had any coffee, still had a little beer floating around my head, and frantically tried to straighten a few things up and make final preparations for their arrival. Four road weary adults and three sleepy little girls arrived a few minutes later. After a few pancakes, a couple boxes of Krispy Kremes, and pot of coffee, the whole house was buzzing.

My folks arrived later that day, and although he hadn’t originally planned on it, my dad decided to make a cake for the next day’s “Male Bake off” at the church. This was one of my favorite times of the whole weekend. My father, father-in-law, little Matt, and I were all in the kitchen at the same time cooking four different deserts, telling dirty jokes, passing around an open bottle of wine, and taking turns embarrassing each other on video tape. Christina was chief video documentarian and emcee. My mom bathed, read to, and put Isaac to bed that night. (I was surprised. Where did she learn to do this stuff?)

Sunday morning was chaos. By this point, two pieces of furniture were damaged, the dog had growled at the girls, people were sleeping on every conceivable flat surface, and Nancy’s sister had been sick. Somehow we managed to feed and dress four kids, round up our deserts and made it to the church.

The service was perfect. We were surprised by a few friends we hadn’t seen in a while in the congregation. Our pastor Michael walked around the sanctuary holding Isaac and talking about famous Isaacs (He even mentioned Isaac Hayes….one bad mother..shut your mouth), and telling the story of Abraham and Isaac.

Near the end of the dedication, my friend Daniel, another minister at the church, told me to look at the back of the sanctuary. In the back row, was “Shaheera”. Of course I saw this at the very beginning of a prayer while I was standing facing the entire congregation. I did everything I could to not laugh out loud. Several people asked me later if I was crying since I was visibly shuttering trying to hold in my laughter.

Matt and Christina left that afternoon, and Mom and Dad left the next morning. Isaac had his six month doctor’s appointment Monday morning. Dr. Young systematically explained how everything was looking fine, and then mentioned that Isaac had a flat spot on his head, and he would send us to a cranial/facial surgeon in either Winston or Chapel Hill to look at it. Isaac’s dry skin around his face was starting to look a little better, but maybe we could try….. “WAIT A MINUTE!!!! Back up to the cranial surgery part”.

We both really like Dr. Young, but as he explained the treatment for Isaac’s flat spot, certain words hit me like an aluminum baseball bat. I’ll use all caps for those words. “He needs to see a SURGEON at a TEACHING HOSPITAL. He will probably have to wear a PADDED HELMET 24 hours a day until it RESHAPES HIS SKULL. INSURANCE DOESN’T COVER this, and they may need to SURGICALLY REPAIR PART OF HIS SKULL”. At each of these words or phrases, I imagined watching nurses wheel off my happy and healthy son in a stretcher only to see him bandaged up several hours later. I also remembered a childhood trip to Colonial Williamsburg and a padded device called a “pudding cap” that they put on babies to keep them from hurting the soft spot on their head, and how funny that struck my family. I was nauseous, Nancy was crying.

We made an appointment for February 20. Since then, we have become reassured by a friend whose son has seen this surgeon, and plenty of testimonials about other kids who’ve had flat spots that have been corrected non invasively. I’ve also done a great deal of praying. I don’t pray for God to fix Isaac’s head. God isn’t my personal cosmic butler. I pray that I can be strong and smart and level headed so I can be the father and husband I need to be.

Nancy and I are relatively calm now, but as the 20th approaches, remember us, and keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Hopefully we can relax some this weekend. This is our “Scheduled Sick Weekend”. We are skipping all other obligations and spending the weekend at home, sleeping in, watching movies, playing games, and listening to music. Hopefully I can go for all of Saturday without wearing any pants.

I close with a quote that was printed on the back of Isaac’s dedication program.

“If you asked me what I came into this world to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud”.

Strength and Honor

Big Matt