Building Blackie (HOL 77)

House of Laughter 77

A couple of weeks ago, my parents flew up from Florida to spend some time with Isaac. Mom had recently bought Isaac’s cousins Eli and Lily each a “Build a Bear”. She wanted to get one for Isaac as well.

I should clarify. You don’t just go to the “Build-A-Bear Workshop” and buy a stuffed animal. No, you buy the skin, pick out a small satin heart to put inside the skin, pick out a “voice” for your new pet, help fill it with stuffing, “fluff it”, and then register your new animal at a computer in the store. (With all other toys, most of these steps are performed by children in Chinese sweatshops.)

When you first arrive at the store, there are two dozen bins filled with a rotating variety of different animal pelts. There are mostly bears, but the occasional beaver, dinosaur, or tiger are thrown in to the mix for diversity’s sake. The first bear Isaac picked was a hideous white bear covered with Kelly green shamrocks. No amount of persuasion seemed to change his mind about it. This was the bear he wanted: the one that no doubt would be marked down 75% on March 18th.

Thankfully my Dad found a handsome black bear for Isaac, and Nancy discreetly put Bono bearskin back into the proper bin. Mom wanted a recording of she and Dad saying, “We Love You Isaac”, but Isaac preferred the vicious growl recording instead. Isaac stuffed and fluffed his bear.

End of story right? Not quite. You see, you have to buy the bear an outfit and accessories. There were several hundred different choices for Isaac’s new ursine friend’s wardrobe. There were also dozens of accessories like cell phones, sunglasses, and jewelry. Dad and I were extremely helpful offering Isaac the “Bear Wheelchair” and Pink “Hannah Montana” Panties. What really blew my mind was that there are hundreds of these stores across the country. Stores that over 70% of their merchandise is clothing for stuffed animals. Not only that, but the place was packed! There was a birthday party with a dozen kids in the back room, and each child had their own critter!

Isaac was going into sensory overload. He wasn’t interested in the Carolina Panthers outfit or the Spiderman outfit. (They also had a well stocked “Charlotte Bobcats” outfit.) We settled on a Fireman outfit that the bear has worn twice now.

Registering the bear was only slightly simpler than applying for financial aid. We had to choose a name right then, which is a lot of pressure for a little guy who is out past his bed time, and has spent the last hour building a bear. In honor of my grandmother’s memory, I suggested the name “Schvatza”. Isaac picked the name “Blackie” instead.

“Blackie” is now the number one stuffed animal at our house. His growler box died after two weeks, but he is still Isaac’s favorite. When Isaac is really mad or pouting, I will hold Blackie up to my ear like he is whispering and then tell Isaac, “Blackie bear asked why you are sad.”
He will usually talk to the bear when he won’t talk to Nancy or I.

Strength and Honor
Big Matt