On the Road Again (HOL 70)

House of Laughter 70

Thanks to the many folks who called during the long drive to Florida and back. Big thanks to Roland Russoli who surprised me in the middle of Georgia with a call from deepest darkest Africa. I’m grateful for so many friends of all ages who reached out to call.

Many people complimented me on my choice to take Isaac with me on the drive to Florida. The main reasons I brought him along were that I would have something to keep me occupied during the long stretches of waiting that take place during funerals, visitations, and dinners, and also to give me something to talk about with the friends and family I haven’t seen for years other than me. Those are the practical reasons…..The fun reasons are: 1) I like spending time with Isaac. 2) I wanted to prove it could be done. 3) Nancy and I want to make sure Isaac gets as much time as possible with his cousins and grandparents since we live so far away.

The drive down took eleven hours (It normally takes nine). Along the way, Isaac and I stopped at “Jasper’s Front Porch” at Exit 21 off I-95 in South Carolina. Nancy and I had eaten their before. It is what a Cracker Barrel pretends to be. They serve Southern food in a laid back atmosphere that reminds me of someone’s home. The best part though is the screened back porch which sits over a lake filled with fish, turtles, and a couple of gators. The waitress loved Isaac, and brought him a basket of old cornbread to feed the fish and turtles after our meal.

As far as I am concerned, the small portable DVD player that my dad gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago was the only reason I could take Isaac with me. Isaac would watch the same movies back to back for three or four straight viewings. Finding Nemo was the big hit. I probably listened to it seven or eight times throughout the week. There is a scene where Dory and Marlin are at the bottom of the ocean and the screen is black for a prolonged period of time. Isaac always assumed the movie was over and started chanting “Again! Again!” until the picture becomes brighter a few minutes later.

We arrived in Gainesville late Tuesday night. Wednesday morning, I went and hung out with my sister in law and two of her kids. I had lunch with my mother in law at the “Mellow Mushroom” right down the street from the University of Florida campus. They must not get many kids in there, because Isaac had barely walked through the front door when he was handed a balloon and greeted by an employee in a giant mushroom costume. (Had I known so many cute young co-eds would come right up to me and start a conversation just because of Isaac, I would have had a child while I was still in college!!!)

On the drive to Orlando, it occurred to me that this was as much a funeral for my family as it is for my grandmother. There are some members of my extended family that I love dearly, but rarely see. There are others who I love, but have absolutely nothing in common with except a few bits of DNA. There are a couple of real assholes too. It dawned on me that I would probably not see most of the people again. During the visitation, Isaac, Eli, and Lily played on the floor of the funeral home (It was actually the same funeral home I attended my first funeral at as a child for my great grandmother.) I hugged a few necks, and made some small talk. I saw people from my childhood that I hadn’t seen in years. I joked with my uncles in the completely inappropriate ways that men do at funerals. Isaac and I had our picture taken with Papa’s brother. I had a short, meaningful conversation with one of my aunts. I saw pictures of new granddaughters and grandsons. Mom and Dad proudly showed off Lily, Eli, and Isaac to their old friends and distant relatives. I was glad he was there.

Mom, Dad, Isaac and I had a late dinner at a Steak and Shake. Isaac was pretty well behaved the whole time. The next morning, Isaac, Mom, and I went shopping, and walked around the Disney resort. Gammy bought Isaac a “Lightning McQueen” toy car which never left his sight for the rest of the trip. She also bought a “’Doc’ Hudson Hornet” car, and I suggested that Isaac “give” it to G-daddy as a gift. (Dad has a collection of metal cars that he and Isaac play with. The fascination with cars skips a generation, but they really bond over them.) Isaac wanted to take the Hornet home with him, but I told him it was gift for G-daddy. I wanted it to be a lesson for Isaac about giving gifts and also to create some kind of ritual for whenever they see each other, the “Presentation of the Cars”.

Isaac slept through most of the funeral. The stories that were told, reinforced what I already knew about Granny. She served Jesus, her church, and anyone who needed help. She loved the old hymns and loved her family. I was amazed that so many people traveled so far, especially people who were friends of hers from when she was in school. The funeral ended with more hugging from people I only knew briefly as a child, more surprise visitors, and more awkward conversations. One of my favorite moments was when an old friend of our family, Dan Kennedy, came over to offer his condolences. I always thought Dan was a really cool guy (he has rooms full of old vinyl albums). He stood with us for a few minutes, and I introduced him to others in line as my parole officer. He played along, much to the confusion of some of the older ladies at the church.

I got to spend a few minutes with my cousin Ian who is working hard to get his life straightened out. I told him I was proud of him, he shared a disgusting story with me, I made a “Big Lebowkski” reference that he immediately caught, and we had a great moment where we re-connected.

Friday, we went to Disney thanks to my cousin Andy, and my Dad’s buddy “Dick”. As the day went on, it dawned on me that it was the first time since I was a kid, that I had been at Disney with my folks and my sister. Of course Eli, Lily, and Isaac made everything a great time. I had a back pack full of candy and stickers in a bid to be the “Best Uncle in the World Ever”. The park wasn’t too crowded and we rode everything. My sister and I constantly cracked each other up with jokes completely out of line with the Disney image. One of the best moments came when we went to meet “Mickey Mouse”.

We were escorted into a room with a few other families. We were at the back of the line behind a velvet rope. Eli, Lily and Isaac kept tasting the rope which had been touched by approximately five hundred thousand hands that day. Ali told mom, “Now I know why you fussed at me so much about the ropes when I was a kid.” I told Eli, “Don’t pull on the ropes, Mickey might get mad.” To which my sister quickly interjected, “HE’LL CUT YOU!!!!”. This set my family into hysterical laughter, while the family in front of us from Akron nervously moved away from us without making eye contact.

I spent a final day in Gainesville sampling the local cuisine (Krystal), and spending some time with my buddy Tonto, Shannon, and their brood just back from a year’s stay in the armpit of Florida. The drive back was long (Whenever I got tired, I would sing to myself “Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming swimming swimming.”) Nancy seemed pretty happy that we were back. The house was spotless.

Thanks again for all the calls.

Strength and Honor,
Big Matt

P.S. Isaac is going to be a tiger for Halloween.