Fathers (HoL 8)

There is a split second sensation that most people have felt before, and remember very clearly. It’s that moment when you lean the chair back just a little too far, and what was once comfortable now threatens to collapse around you. There is a sudden sensation of nausea when you realized that you have gone to far and in a moment your world will come rushing by, and you are going to end up flat on your back in a lot of pain.

I felt that sensation on Thursday morning when I checked my voicemail at work. There were two messages, both of them were my mother.

“Matt, your dad is in the hospital, we think he had a stroke. Call me on my cell phone.”

“Matt, this is your mother, call me on my cell phone when you get this message. We think your dad had a stroke.”

My world tilted uneasily on it’s axis, and threatened to knock me flat on my back. I called mom immediately, and found out that Dad had been acting and driving erratically during the morning commute from Gainesville to High Springs. They drove to the hospital and discovered that Dad had no memory of the last hour or two. He was back to “normal” for the time being, but they were going to have to run some tests.

Fast Forward 24 hours, and he is released from the hospital with no apparent cause for his event, and no residual effects. Evidently my chair rocked forward and landed squarely on four legs.

I am thankful for the quick actions of my mother, and others who helped take care of him at Alachua General hospital. I talk to my dad usually around lunch time every day. I usually complain about work or tell him a dirty joke.

This is one of those events where I realize in a surprising way that life moves forward. He is now “Grandfather” in addition to “Father”. I am now “Father” in addition to “Son”.

I was going to tie this up neatly and poetically, but part of my new “Father” title, I have to get a little boy to stop crying right now.

Isaac has learned to stuff his fist in his mouth this week which is pretty damn funny to watch. He has also started playing with toys just a little bit. He will grab on to a toy and shake it around a bit.

Nancy discovered that he thinks the name “Oprah” is pretty funny. Nancy was telling me about an interview with the stars of the new Johnny Cash bio pic on Oprah, and she noticed that every time she said “Oprah’s” name, he would smile.

Who doesn’t love Oprah?

Okay maybe French people who work in department stores, but that’s it.

Nancy and Isaac had a rough night last night. We took him the zoo, and he slept the whole time we were there. He woke up every two hours last night. Nancy was upset, because he had been sleeping longer and longer hours, and this seemed like a setback. Our friend Lynn suggested that he might just be getting hungry because he is hitting a growth spurt. We’ll take that answer for now.

The Greensboro News and Record did an article about how the science museum near our house is going to get a major renovation over the next ten years. I am very excited about that for Isaac.

Enjoy the two pictures. One has Isaac in a classic “Dr. Evil” pose. The other picture just made me chuckle, and sort of blew the zookeeper’s mind when we posed him.

I hope all is well with you.

Big Matt

Naughty Mat (HoL 7)

Well Isaac will be two months old , and I will be 372 months old this week. It’s amazing how much more alert he is now than he was just a month ago. He and I are hanging out tonight because Nancy and her friend Cary went out to see a play. He’s sitting on my lap, watching me type, pointing out my misspellings.

Nancy and I learned a key point of parenting communication last week. Nancy decided to let Isaac cry for a few minutes to see if he would go back to sleep. She did not however inform me of this new parenting strategy before going to bed that night.

Nancy and I have an agreement. Since I’m more of a night owl, and since I’m still working my regular hours, I take the first baby shift. This usually means staying up until midnight or two in the morning. Nancy takes the rest of the night. Usually this arrangement works out well. Not so much last Friday morning…..at four o’clock…..when the baby started crying.

The key parenting skill we learned last week was that four in the morning was not the optimum time to discuss new theories of parenting. Not if you want to get along the next day.

Friday morning wasn’t much fun, but most of last week was sprinkled with unexpected moments of laughter and grace.

One night last week I was lying on the couch snuggling Isaac and he started nursing the end of my nose. Nancy and I laughed until we cried

The three of us went to a party Saturday night. Isaac would disappear for twenty minutes at a time as friends passed him around and loved on him. The same thing happens at church on Wednesday nights. Every once in a while, Nancy or I will stand up and look around the crowded room to see who is busy entertaining the boy. It looks like this village will work out pretty good.

Isaac is now beginning to grasp the basic strategy of peek-a-boo. He realizes that something is different when the towel is blocking his view of mom, he just can’t seem to put his finger on it. He’ll pick up on it soon. The Craveys and Dufrans have a genetic predisposition to excelling at sports.

I made Nancy laugh by walking Isaac around a table at church like a giant troll puppet.

We had lunch at one of my favorite restaurants downtown Saturday, Natty Greens. We sat out on the porch in the sun, drank beer, and watched a train roll through the middle of downtown. I had the realization that if I could still sit on a patio with Nancy and Isaac, drink a beer, and watch a train go by, then I don’t think I’ll miss anything that I had to give up to be a parent.

The three of us had a little party Sunday night. Nancy read stories and poems. I played the guitar and sang. Isaac just soaked it all up. It was night I will never forget.

I watched the movie “Life is Beautiful” last night. I had seen it before in the theater, but seeing it as a father added a whole new dimension to the film. Luckily I didn’t cry.

Last night, I heard Nancy gasping for air she was laughing so hard. I came into the kitchen, and saw a magazine open next to her. In it there was a list of ways to prepare yourself for breastfeeding.

• Day 1) Gently rub your nipples with sandpaper.
• Day 2) At bedtime, set your alarm to go off every two hours. Each time it rings, spend 20 minutes sitting in a rocking chair with your nipples clamped in a pair of “Chip Clips”
• Day 3) Fit the hose of a vacuum cleaner over one breast and set on “Medium pile”. Turn off vacuum when nipple is three inches long. Switch breasts.

It goes on like that for a while. It took Nancy five minutes to stop laughing. I didn’t think it was as funny for some reason.

It was a great week. I’m sure this week will have lots of surprises as well. We are going to the doctor’s office on Thursday and Isaac is going to get a shot. I have to be there to help mother and child cope. I know this update is a little scattershot, but Isaac has been crying for most of my writing time. It’s not so easy to focus with a screaming baby.

One final thing I learned about this week. My sister has a discipline technique that I absolutely love and sounds pretty funny as well. When my niece, Lilly, has been bad, my sister makes her do a time out on the “Naughty Mat”. (Oddly enough this was my nickname in pre-school.) The naughty mat is a placemat that Alison carries in her purse. Lilly will stay on it while she is being punished. My brother in law evidently has trouble trying not to laugh whenever she has to sit on the “Naughty Mat”.

I like the idea that the punishment is portable, and is a recognizable object of discipline i.e. “Don’t make me get the naughty mat out”. I think I’ll go check out the placemats at Target this weekend.

Big Matt