Worst.....Parents......Ever......(HOL 48)

House of Laughter 48

Nancy called me at work Friday afternoon to tell me that Isaac was sick when she picked him up at daycare. He was hacking like a Chihuahua with a fur ball, and had a fever. She had called the doctor, and was waiting to hear back. I was a little nervous because she was going out of town with some girlfriends for the weekend, so not only would I be home with a sick a baby, I would have to cancel our trip to Carowinds with our friends, Jeff, Adam, and Daniel on Saturday.

I ran to the grocery store after work, and when I came home, Nancy was sobbing. “I just can’t leave him.” I feel my job as a husband is to support my wife’s decision, knowing full well I will have to support her decision after she changes her mind three times in 20 minutes. My only advice to her was if you go, I have to deal with a sick baby by myself. If you stay, I have to deal with a sick baby, and a crazy wife by myself.

She eventually decided to go (Don’t worry, I already contacted the judges at the “Worst Mother of the Year” contest.). Isaac was up every few hours and was hot with fever. My friend Michael told me you don’t know what it means to be vulnerable until you have children. Don’t tell Nancy, but there were a couple of times Friday night that I felt like I was in over my head. Every four hours I would give him a cocktail of Tylenol and cough syrup (Both were “grape medicine” flavored), and slather him down with “Vick’s Baby Rub” (invented in Greensboro by the way.)

I had about four hours of sleep Friday. I was at the pediatrician’s office as soon as the doors opened. The doctor listened to his lungs, and assured me he just had a little cold, his lungs were clear, and (I swear I’m not making this up) to tell my wife that I could handle it.

I spent the rest of Saturday watching movies (Monster House….pretty good!) and football (Go Gators!). Isaac wasn’t interested in eating, but it turns out he really likes “Marshmallow Ghost Peeps”.

The extra hour of sleep Saturday night did both of us a world of good. I got up, got him fed and dressed and the house clean by 10:00. I knew I wanted to get out of the house. The Panthers weren’t playing until 8:30 p.m. The Children’s Museum didn’t open until one. The Corn Maze in High Point didn’t open until one. Then thanks to a genetic predisposition to manic episodes, I grabbed the diaper bag, put Isaac in the back of the car and drove to Carowinds in Charlotte.

It was surprisingly crowded. It was the last day of the year, and they had a Halloween event for the kids, a junior cheerleading competition, and a “Make-a-Wish” day. The place was thick with kids. Also I didn’t bring a stroller, so I ended up carrying the boy and the diaper bag everywhere.

People have asked me, why take him there? He won’t remember. My answer: I will. I enjoy being with him. He is fascinated by everything. I like seeing things through his eyes. If he hears music he dances. He isn’t afraid of anything. Besides we will have cool pictures to show off. I know it is foolish to take him, and it is hard work, but we had a great time.

We rode the Sky Tower, Boot’s Balloon Race, Lazytown Sporticopters, Dora’s Train, and Lil Bill’s Cruisers. Lil Bill’s Cruisers was a boat ride in a round concrete channel filled with water. The boats floated but were attached to a central motor by steal rods. Unfortunately, I had to ride with him, and it almost became Lil Bill’s submarine ride when I got onboard. Between each ride, we would walk around and listen to music or look at other rides or check out other kid’s costumes.

One of my favorite moments was near the end of the day. Isaac loved watching the coasters zip around overhead. The “Top Gun” roller coaster goes under the sidewalk through a tunnel. On our way out of the park, he stood on the edge of the sidewalk and watched the coaster zoom under his feet with a deafening roar, the wind from the ride blowing his hair back. He never flinched.

Maybe next year we will do that one.

Strength and Honor,
Big Matt