Out in the Boonies (HOL 80)

House of Laughter 80

Isaac is becoming more reliable about telling us when he needs to “spill”. The ritual involves a brisk, heated discussion between Nancy and I about who’s turn it is to take him, and then I take him to the nearest Men’s room. Isaac and I head for the largest empty stall, and without fail, as soon as I lock the door, Isaac has both hands gripping the toilet seat. It doesn’t matter how filthy the bathroom is, he feels compelled to touch the toilet seat with both hands. Nancy has seen him cross his arms and put his head down on it as well.

He should have a pretty damned healthy immune system by now.

We took a small vacation last weekend to Boone, NC ( For non-North Carolinians, it’s up in the mountains. There is a college there called Appalachian State. They are very proud of a recent “Football Championship.” As Florida Gator fans, we thought it was just adorable.) We spent most of Saturday at a small theme park called “Tweetsie Railroad” (Motto: Fun for ages 2-8).

The park is supposed to remind you of an old frontier town out west in the 1800’s that just happens to have a lot of carnival rides. The star attraction of the park is an old coal fired train that takes a 30 minute ride through the woods and canyons around the mountain. There are two stops where poorly microphoned teenagers dressed as cowboys and Indians shoot cap guns at each other until a middle aged guy rides in on a horse and fires a shotgun. They have also peppered the railway with life size fiberglass animals to try and distract from all of the tacky showiness of “Nature” all around.

We had to ride it twice.

The other highlight of the day was the chair lift up the side of the mountain which I would guess was built just before the first personal injury lawsuit was ever filed. I think Nancy was truly terrified.

Isaac petted the goats, deer, and emus at the petting farm. He rode the go-karts, and jets. He even rode the Tilt a Whirl and Scrambler rides. We watched a magic show, and the “World Famous” Tweetsie cloggers.

After a busy, fun day, we went back to the hotel for some well deserved rest. It wasn’t until about 1:00 a.m. that the non-stop uncontrollable screaming began. Thankfully it only lasted about 40 minutes. The screaming at 3:00 a.m. went on for almost an hour. Why was Isaac screaming? Was he in an unfamiliar place? Was he scared of Caucasian teens dressed in stereotypical Native American clothing and war paint yelling garbled insults at him?

Any question asked of him resulted in an angry “No!” and an intensified round of screaming. We don’t know for sure, but we suspect he may have had slight abdominal discomfort from not crapping for four days.

He doesn’t like sitting on public toilets you know….those things are disgusting!

Strength and Honor

Big Matt