Egg Hunt Madness (HOL 93)

House of Laughter 93

Last year we went to an Easter egg hunt at the North Carolina Transportation museum. There was a good size crowd, but there were plenty of eggs, and even the smallest children had plenty of time to get a basket full of goodies.

There were three separate Easter egg hunts going on today. The coolest sounding one by far was the one at the local minor league ball field where 2000 eggs were going to be dropped from a helicopter (I am curious how that was done without creating 200,000 pieces of plastic shrapnel raining down on children.) The earliest hunt was out at the Farmer’s Market just west of town.

We arrived 20 minutes before the 2 and 3 year old egg hunt began. Cars were parked everywhere. The ring around the egg hunt area was about six people deep all around. They announced that there was one “Golden Egg” that contained the grand prize….tickets to Sesame Street Live. I jokingly told Isaac if he found a gold egg to drop it and let another child have it.

We counted down to complete loss of civilization (In honor of the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ no less.) One parent in particular just raised my hackles. She was on her knees, using both arms to “bulldoze” eggs toward her child who was barely paying attention. My initial plan was to let Isaac go it alone, but when I saw how fast the eggs were disappearing off the field, I gently suggested to him to start picking them up before crazy bulldozer lady sacrificed her last shred of dignity to make sure her kid got a few extra tootsie rolls.

When the dust settled, Isaac had three plastic Easter eggs in his basket. I was miffed that people would be so greedy, and that my child received less because I wouldn’t be an asshole. I told Isaac that I would get something for him at the store. Nancy corrected me, “It’s not about getting the most, it’s about having a good time, and he is.” She was right.

A tow trunk company that sponsored the event had a setup where children could operate the wench on a real tow truck to flip a car up on it’s side and back down with a satisfying crunch. (In honor of the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.) Isaac and I watched it several times, and the world was good.

We decided to drive back to Greensboro to watch the helicopter drop eggs. The people running the event gave a free ticket to every single child in Guilford County Schools, and when we arrived, the pandemonium made the Farmer’s Market look like afternoon tea at the O Henry. The line to get into the already packed stadium extended for several blocks.

While we were driving and pondering what to do, Isaac was in the back of the truck enjoying the morning hunt’s bounty: four tootsie rolls and a yellow piece of paper.

“Mommy, what is this paper?” He handed the slip up to Nancy.

He had a golden ticket, and we were 30 minutes away from the egg hunt.

We thought about just foregoing the prize, because if you’ve seen one group of costumed young people lip synching and dancing, you’ve seen them all. I tried to call the sponsoring radio station, but just got a voice mailbox where I left a message which will surely be played for every employee at 107.5’s amusement Monday morning. “Hi this is Matt, I won tickets, well Isaac won tickets to Sesame street, Sonofabitch watch what you are doing!, but we aren’t there, and we want, you can send us the tickets or whatever, he is three, and we opened it after we, Oh hell no we aren’t stopping at the ball park, just look at the line, (Nancy “Matt you are still leaving a message”), Okay then call me goodbye.”

We decided that my voicemail could have probably been clearer.

We made our way back to the Farmer’s market where we found out that we won four tickets to Sesame Street Live, and a $50 gift card to Once Upon a Child consignment store, where we bought Isaac his Easter outfit, and a Cranium game, and Cars racetrack. It’s easily over a hundred dollars worth of loot. And I’m sure Isaac and Nancy will have a great time each taking a friend to see Elmo sing about his feelings.

Strength and Honor

Big Matt