Hard Rock er...Freestyle Music Park (HOL 97)

House of Laughter 97

We borrowed a friend’s beach house for Father’s Day weekend. We arrived Friday afternoon and decided to explore the area. I looked up local mini-golf places in nearby Shallote on my cell phone. The web page described an “indoor black light” mini golf course, bowling alleys and go-cart tracks. We followed the directions out to a two lane road that cut through a forest and over a creek, but had a serious lack of go karts, bowling alleys or mini golf. We drove up and down the road several times until we saw a sign notifying us of the opening date in late 2009. Just one more reason to dislike GPS.

On the way out to Holden Beach in search of mini-golf, we saw a house covered in lights, with dozens of brightly painted signs and a network of tree houses in the front yard. After 18 holes amongst fiberglass crocodiles and giraffes down at the beach, we decided to check out what we later found out was called “The Bottle House” on the return trip.

We parked out front, and I wandered around the grounds to let someone know we were there. I wandered into the garage/ junk store hybrid. There were stacks of dishes and board games everywhere. It was clear that someone lived there, but I didn’t see anyone around. I wandered out into the front yard where there was a maze of ramps connecting a series of tree houses filled with dolls and sculptures and paintings of cartoon characters on every imaginable surface. It was completely overwhelming, and I was a little freaked out when the whole thing lit up suddenly with Christmas lights.

Meanwhile, Nancy and Isaac were waiting out in the car. She could not see me in the front yard 10 yards away from her. It was starting to get dark, and although the Christmas lights unexpectedly turning on startled Nancy, it wasn’t nearly as bad as when the owner of the house quietly walked up to the side of the car and knocked on the window.

We explored the grounds and talked with the artist. The pictures don’t really do it justice. We donated a little money to the artist’s charity. She raises money to feed hungry children. Isaac really like running on the ramps that spanned the tree houses like an Ewok village.

We slept well that night, and the next morning we went to the “Freestyle Music Park.” Last year, the park had opened as “Hard Rock Park” and went bankrupt a week and a half before we were scheduled to go. We arrived at opening time and there were less than 50 cars in the parking lot (about 200,000 less than Disney at opening time.) For around $80, Nancy, Isaac and I bought our tickets (about $200 less than Disney) .

Our first stop in the park was a pleasant surprise. The park had a wine shop that featured Nancy’s favorite, “Key Lime Wine”. We had only ever found it for sale at one place before in Key West. The women at the store offered us free samples of banana, kiwi, grapefruit, cherry, and orange wines along with tasty orange blossom mead. On the walk to our first coaster we hear “Somewhere over the Rainbow/ What a wonderful world” by Israel Kamakawiwo Ole. All day long, we heard really great music all over the park. Our first coaster of the morning, “The Time Machine” had no line what-so-ever. As Isaac and I waited for Nancy to ride, we watched “The Time Warp” from Rocky Horror Picture Show on a video monitor. It was then I knew the day was going to be forever known as “The Best Theme Park Day Ever”.

Most of the coasters at Freestyle music park have speakers built into the cars that play music synched to the ride. During my ride on “The Time Machine”, I got to hear the opening riff of “Foxy Lady” as I plummeted down the first hill which morphed into “Help”.

Isaac was more interested in “The Garage”, a huge room filled with foam balls and pneumatic cannons lined up around a balcony to pelt anyone running around below. Even Nancy couldn’t help launching an arsenal of balls at helpless children and husbands. Isaac was also a big fan of the dark ride “The Mon-stars of Rock”. (When the park opened originally, they had an LSD inspired ride set to the song “Nights in White Satin” which they lost the rights to when they went bankrupt.) “Monstars” made “Mr. Toads Wild Ride” look like “The Adventures of Spiderman”, but the boy asked to ride it again, and seeing how it was air conditioned, we were happy to oblige.

At the hottest point of the day, theme park magic happened. We were waiting to see the skateboarding show, and I went to get Isaac an ice cream and Nancy some water (the park was giving away water at every concession stand!). I also ordered a beer for myself. The young woman at the stand filled a glass with beer, said, “Go ahead and finish that, I’ll get you your ice cream.” She rang me up, but did not charge for the beer. We came back to the stand several times to buy other items. Each time, she gave me a free beer. I don’t know if it was because I was so incredibly good looking in my sweat soaked T-shirt, or if she was just honked off at her bosses, and frankly, I don’t care. What I witnessed that day was a theme park miracle.

Strength and Honor
Big Matt