Well Dog my Cats! (HOL 102)

House of Laughter 102.

Despite the current climate of calm, rational, respectful debate about religion and politics, I don’t talk about either much on this blog. Whenever I do say anything about religion, I can’t help but feel like I set myself up to be compared as either more liberal or conservative than whoever is reading (The only people you should ever discuss religion with are the ones who hold the exact same beliefs as you. It’s better that way.) For example, if I mention my belief that God loves my gay or lesbian friends as much as anyone else, I‘m sure some people paint me into the “Hippy Dippy Southern California Anything Goes Moonbat” side of the aisle (or even worse….Methodist). If I write about God who I believe created all and lives within each of us, or Jesus who I believe to be fully human and Divine, I am relegated by some to the “Superstitious, Fundamentalist, Halloween Banning, Repeat in Unison with Fox News” side of the room (or even worse….Southern Baptist).

I like most of you are somewhere in the middle, trying to stake out my own piece of theological real estate while being influenced by people I respect on both sides of me urging me to move my family “just a little further down the street in their direction.”

What does this have to do with Coralline?

A friend of mine had warned me that Coralline was pretty intense for children. (Her two boys, older than Isaac, were scared for weeks after seeing it.) Isaac is a huge fan of “A Nightmare Before Christmas” which is in the same style and directed by the same person that created Coralline, so Nancy and I screened it to try and anticipate if it would be too intense for Isaac. Isaac has seen all of the Star Wars movies, Ironman, Fantastic Four, Willy Wonka, and a few select scenes from Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park , Lord of the Rings and Batman Returns. I watch with him, finger hovering above the fast forward button lest it get too scary. Good Guys, Bad Guys, and Heroes are really important to him right now.

Ultimately Coralline didn’t make the cut. Although there were some scary parts, and some almost nude women, I thought he could handle it. I just didn’t think he would like the story or the characters. Since I was watching the movie with Isaac, something else stuck out. Several times during the movie characters said “Oh my God!”

To be clear, I don’t think they are “Magic Words” that give God a migraine whenever they are uttered aloud. In fact, (Hypocrisy alert) I am guilty of saying the name aloud in moments of frustration or anger (including the middle initial, “H”). I have on more than one occasion slipped up and apologized to Isaac when I said it in front of him. On the rare occasion he has said it (in an exaggerated Valley Girl cadence which I’m sure he picked up at day care) a quick look from me spurs him to offer the correct “Oh my goodness….goodness!”

It seems the general consensus that “Oh my God” and “Jesus Christ” are acceptable, even in a children’s movie, while dozens of other usable scatological words and phrases still carry a forbidden aura. For those of us who take our children to church and want to teach them about our faith, what do our kids learn when we break the one rule in the Bible about swearing? When we trivialize the mystery of life, death, and all creation whenever someone in the room farts or the Panthers block a field goal (okay the second one never happens….bad example.)

Even if you don’t claim any faith, I’m sure you have experienced a moment of awe considering the millions of cells, atoms, and sub-atomic particles that had to fall together in order for you to be you, and wondered what your place in the universe is (Probably at three in the morning after watching “The Wall” laser show at the planetarium.)

I’m not calling for any movies to be banned, or shows to be cancelled. I would probably still let the boy watch Coralline if I really thought it would interest him. I don’t want to change the rest of the world.

I still think sacred cows make the best hamburger, and there are lots of colorful phrases I am looking forward to teaching the boy as he grows up (“’Bout useless as tits on a boar hog” being one of them). I want Isaac to get the feeling that there is more to existence than what we see and hear and that it is okay to be in awe. When he gets older, and can form his own ideas about what that bigger picture is, I hope his little piece of theological real estate is in the same neighborhood as mine.

Strength and Honor
Big Matt