Walk The Line HOL 114

Walk the Line. HOL 114

   Most phones come with a couple dozen sound effects that can be used as an alarm to wake you up.  They range from piano blues riffs to electronic dance music, but I think every phone should offer the option of waking up to the sound of a dog barfing.  Nothing will wake you up from a dead sleep and have you running through the house mentally tallying the relative cost and time of removing vomit from various surfaces later like the rhythmic guttural retching of a medium to large sized dog.  

    I was up at 6:00 and Nancy was getting ready to take the boy to scout camp.  On a normal day I would go back to sleep for another 45 minutes or so, but our elderly dog’s performance this morning sounded like he had one of those novelty items that you turn over and it makes a cow sound lodged in his throat and I was wide awake.  I knew I would be sitting in an empty house for almost an hour before going to work, and the impulsive thought came to me to walk to work.  

   My office is about three miles away, most of which is adjacent to a 4-5 lanes of traffic and the most direct route involves walking over a highway overpass.

   I did a quick check with Nancy to see if I was crazy for attempting it and she offered support and the advice of drinking water.  (She did not offer to set up a small table halfway with small paper cups full of water for me to drink quickly on the way, so I don’t know how fully behind the whole concept she was.)

   I turned on a podcast and started walking.  When I made it to the four lane road, I looked at the time and realized that I had gone .8 miles in 15 minutes.  I still had time to turn around, put on a dry shirt and drive in air conditioned comfort to work.  I was coming close to the point of no return and decided to turn around and walk home…..As I was walking, I realized that if I had gone home I would have walked a mile and half, but would have been disappointed for not following through.

  Once again, I turned around and continued towards work.  At 30 minutes I made it to the first of several shopping centers, highway on ramps, and an overpass.  I knew that my shirt was going to be soaked by the time I got to work.  I crossed at a busy intersection with no crosswalk and when I got to the other side had to step over a guardrail and walk through weeds.  I was starting to get discouraged when I found the fullest blackberry bush I had ever seen at the corner of two highways.  I know some people reading will be disgusted but I channeled my inner caveman/Matt Williams and ate about a dozen right off the bush.  

 I kept walking and after running across a highway off ramp, thought “ this is madness”.  It isn’t safe for pedestrians to be walking on these roads, and that is when I saw the young man in his electric wheelchair crossing the four lanes of traffic.  I wasn’t going to be shown up by him.  I pressed on.

  I arrived at work and when people found out that I had walked they seemed impressed.  They then asked how I planned on getting home.  I told them that I planned on digging a tunnel. They were all very kind and concerned about me getting overheated.  I assured them that I was walking for about an hour past 20 restaurants, I wasn’t wandering the desert for 40 years.  

    Although I wanted to hit the blackberry bush on the way back, I took a slightly longer route on the way home and discovered about a dozen other full blackberry bushes on the new route.  

   I met Nancy and the boy at Hams for lunch and rehydration (beer).  I would definitely  walk to work again.  It was a simple thing but felt almost subversive since our cities are designed almost exclusively for people with cars.  If nothing else, it gives me a great excuse for leaving the house early so I don’t have to clean up where the dog puked.