One for the money, two for the show (CTL 6)

Countdown to Laughter

Issue 6

There is a great roller coaster in Richmond called “Flight of Fear”. An empty coaster train silently rolls into the station. You climb into the seat and strap in. You look at the track ahead and all you see is a long dark tunnel. It leads to another room which is filled with winding track. An ominous voice gives a warning about keeping your head against the headrest. There is a loud whirring sound, and then a half second of silence.

The next thing you know, you are pinned back in the seat, with wind rushing past you at 60 miles per hour, a strobe light flashing in your eyes, and a deafening whooshing sound rattling your teeth.

Right now we are in that half second of silence. We’ve waited in line for nine months. We’ve already seen friends disappear down the tunnel and live to tell us about what a fun but terrifying ride it is. Any moment now we are going to be slammed back in our seats, terrified, and completely out of control.

Nancy could blow at any minute, and we would leave the house as two and come back as three.

The panic level raised slightly when I got an e-mail from my friend Alex in D.C. asking if he could visit while we are still D.I.N.K.s (Duel income, no kids). I told him that this weekend I had a lot of stuff to do with the church, but next weekend would be fine. (Alex, not much of a “church” fan, still has a scar from where he accidentally touched a crucifix at the national cathedral and it burned his flesh with an audible hiss.)

I did the math and realized, we may no longer be D.I.N.K.s in two weeks. It was at that moment, that I realized that Nancy and I were strapped in, looking down the long tunnel, and have a white knuckle grip on each other’s hands.

Big Matt