So Very Lazy (HOL 59)

House of Laughter 58

The last two weekends have been very busy, and this next weekend will be extremely busy as well, but I thought I would do a quick update on Isaac.

For Christmas, Isaac got a wooden truck decoration that you hang on a wall and use to display Matchbox cars. Nancy put it up last week, and Isaac is fascinated by it. If I am in another room, he will come get me and say “Car? Car? Car?” until I pick him up, carry him into his room and hold him up at eye level to look at his collection of cars. (Quite a few of them were mine as a child, including his favorite, “The A-Team” van.). He will pick out two to play with, and then less than ten minutes later, he wants to be picked up again so he can swap them for two more. I almost always indulge him, because I know someday he won’t want me to hold him.

Isaac has become obsessed with his high chair and wearing a coat. He is able to climb into and out of his high chair by himself now, and I am fascinated watching him. It drives his mom crazy when he stands in the seat. Whenever we are in the kitchen he wants to be in his high chair. He also loves to wear a coat. The other day he insisted on wearing a coat even though he was inside, and only wearing a shirt and a diaper.

We took him to the children’s museum last week. He is much more into it than he was last time. We also took him to see “Flushed Away” at the two dollar movies. He wasn’t so interested in that. We made it about an hour, before I ended up walking around the lobby with him looking at the player piano, and statues of “The Blues Brothers”.

Also last week we were riding around town in my truck and in the middle of Isaac’s babbling, he says “Winna-Winna-Winna-Winna”. At first I thought this was just random sounds, but after a few minutes, I realize he is singing the song “The Window” by Trout Fishing in America. (It’s a great song where every nursery rhymes ends with someone or something getting thrown out a window.)

I’ll write more later.

Strength and Honor

Big Matt

Then one night, There's a scream in the night, and you'll wonder who could that have been? (HOL 57)

House of Laughter 57

I don’t know if Isaac will ever read these in the future, but if he does, this last week is the reason that when he is 16 years old, I will go into his room every night for a week at three in the morning and demand to play X-box, and scream until he wakes up and plays with me.

Payback is a bitch.

At first Nancy would get up and try to put him back down. I assured her that crying would not kill him. (With earplugs, I can sleep through it.) If Nancy asks me to get up, I walk in his room and say in a stern voice, “Isaac, lie down!” and he flops down face first on the bed. No one in this house has slept for more than four consecutive hours for almost a week now.

Isaac has become obsessed with a book, “On the Farm”. If I sit down to read with him at night, that has to be the first book we read. It has about a dozen flaps on each page which open to reveal more information about life on the farm. We read it because he loves it, but there are two reasons I love it too.

1) If you lift the flap for “Grapes”, there is a picture of a big barrel behind it and the caption says “Grapes are used to make wine.”

2) The book is about a family of pigs that own a farm. The farmer pig wears overalls, and his wife wears a dress. The great thing is that, THEY HAVE PIGS ON THEIR FARM. It’s like some crazy porcine Texas Chainsaw massacre thing. How do they decide which pigs get to wear coveralls and shear the sheep and which ones get sent to becomes Neese’s extra spicy sausage?

Last Wednesday night, Nancy had a migraine and went to bed after work. In a bizarre, unrelated coincidence, there was no dinner waiting for me when I got home. I took Isaac to church for the Wednesday night dinner and got a small peek at the life of a single parent.

I thought I could put Isaac in a high chair, go get dinner, and eat. The only problem is that Isaac would scream if he couldn’t see me. Every step retrieving our dinner involved a great deal of screaming and guilt. Thankfully, a young woman at our table, Mariah, distracted him for a few minutes at a time. By the end of the meal, my nerves were fried, and I was not looking forward to trying to clean up and wrangle the boy, so I announced to the table, “All right village, who is going to help me clean up this tray?”. My buddy Hayden was a good sport and took over clean up for me.

Isaac has started pulling up his shirt at school or around the house and playing his belly like a drum. He learned that by watching Nancy.

Strength and Honor,

Big Matt

Also my co-worker Diane thought that the boy in this ad looked like Isaac circa 2010. Sounds like something he would say.

Christmas Aught Six (HOL 56)

House of Laughter 56

Like everyone else, we have been extremely busy the last few weeks. I thought about giving up blogging to make a little more time in my life. Several very kind
e-mails and compliments made me re-consider.

The decorations are put away, the national championship is won, it’s time to get back to work.

We drove down to Florida two days earlier than we had planned. Santa came to our house before we left and gave Isaac some cool toys including a Fisher Price school bus, a Mr. Potato head, and the book “Carl’s Christmas”. (For those of you who don’t have children, the “Carl” books are supposed to be whimsical pictures books about a baby and a dog’s adventures….in actuality, it’s a book about two parents who leave their infant home alone with a Rottweiller.)

The trip down was pretty easy. We went to my folk’s church on Christmas Eve, and had a big family sleepover at my in-laws to wait for Santa. Santa of course filled the living room with presents for everyone. (By the way, Nancy and I have had many discussions about whether or not Santa wraps Christmas presents. I’ve found that he wraps presents for Northern children, not so much Southern children. Nancy is adamant that Santa will wrap presents at our house….please post your opinions in the comments section.)

I had several day trips later that week. I went to Busch Gardens in Tampa with my friends Alex and Matt where we made a mockery of the “Two complimentary beers per customer policy”.

One afternoon, my parents took Isaac and I to the “Big Daddy” Don Garlit’s Museum of Drag racing (no it has nothing to do with cross dressing Men’s Track and Field events). They should have called it “The Museum of Really Cool Shit that Toddlers Aren’t Allowed to Touch.” The woman who took our entrance fee warned us not to even touch the velvet ropes around the cars. I spent most of the afternoon trying to keep an increasingly frustrated toddler from touching the thing he is most fascinated by.

A few days later, Dad and I took him to the Florida Museum of Natural History which was filled with much more “kid friendly” stuff like sharks, caves, and deep sea creatures. I spent many hours in this same museum as a child.

Nancy, Isaac and I met my sister and her kids down in Orlando to visit my grandmother. When they sat at Granny’s piano and played together, I realized that theirs was the fifth generation of hands to do so. After the kids wore Granny out, we went to a local mall to ride the merry-go-round. It turned out to be the longest, saddest merry-go-round ride ever.

Another little girl took the “Bunny” that my niece Lily wanted. My sister had already put Eli on another horse, and Lily began to cry. I picked her up shortly before the ride started. Her crying prompted Isaac to start. I was holding “Crying Isaac” on a horse with my right arm and holding “Crying Lily” in my left arm.

One of the few times Nancy and I had some time alone is when Isaac fell asleep on my father in his recliner. Nancy and I snuck off to our favorite pizza place, “Leonardo’s” for some pizza and garlic rolls. When we returned 45 minutes later, neither one had moved. Dad and Isaac had a great time playing together with the cars he got for Christmas. Dad gave Isaac a talking, burping garbage truck. My sister gave Isaac a low rider car that plays music and bounces up and down.

I got to spend some time with my friend “Tonto” and his family. They are a really great family. When Isaac and I arrived somewhat unexpectedly, his three kids took Isaac and entertained him like he was a long lost relative. When the little boy, Reef, brought out his Star Wars toys to show Isaac, his mother made a quick mental assessment and knew exactly which action figures had small pieces that could become toddler food, and told him to put those up on the table where Isaac couldn’t get them. In our short visit, they showed us a lot of hospitality.

The trip home was uneventful…..except for the projectile vomiting in Concord….one hour before we got home.

The trip was great but exhausting, and we made plenty of new memories. Thanks to our parents for the generous gifts and the place to stay, thanks to the Armitages for the fun “Dance Dance Revolution” marathons and Mario Parties. Thanks to the Atwoods for making long car trips with little children to see “Baby Ice.”

I have one last thing I want to share with you from this week. Isaac and I were wrestling Monday morning in bed (our morning ritual). When Nancy left, she must have accidentally let one of our cats in, because right in the middle of a wrestling move, the cat jumped up on our bed. Isaac froze, mouth wide open. He looked at the cat, then at me, then back at the cat, then back at me. The look on his face conveyed “Can you believe this? This is the damndest thing I’ve ever seen!”. The cat ran off, and he and I just cracked up laughing.

Strength and Honor.

Big Matt