Zoo visit 2008 (HOL 81)

House of Laughter

Nancy has an uncanny ability to tune Isaac out. I usually can not. If I am the middle of writing or checking e-mail, and he wants to sit on my lap or asks to read a book or wants to throw the football it’s hard for me to say, “No”. Every time I try to say “No”, I hear the opening chords of “Cat’s in the Cradle” start up on the Ipod in my mind, and I end up stopping what I am doing pre-maturely to go and play.

I’m not a complete pushover. If he asks to watch TV. or get a snack, I will make him wait, but nothing I do at home is more important than building a racetrack for Matchbox cars.

Isaac and I have an understanding that when I get home, I kiss him and Nancy. I spend a few minutes seeing how everyone is doing, then he and I go and play “Alligator”. “Alligator” is a highly ritualized game we play that to the untrained eye looks like wrestling on my bed. Ali and I used to play a version called “Giant Squab” with my father.

Isaac will only play if the bed is made, and the window is open. I can hop on the bed and call him up, but he will say, “No. We have to fix the bed first!”. He and I make the bed. He will then explain that the window has to be opened before he will play. We open the window, and only then can “Alligator” commence. The game lasts until dinner is ready.

Isaac has obsessed over two library books which unfortunately have both had to go back after two renewals. “Ivan the Terrier” was read almost every night for three weeks, and I will admit it was a lot of fun to read. A small Jack Russell terrier, Ivan, interupts the stories about and chases off the three pigs, bears, billy goats gruff, and eats the little gingerbread man. His other favorite was a strange wordless book called “Hogwash”. Through pictures it shows a large group of small pigs playing in mud and paint and then getting placed into a large “Rube Goldberg” type machine to get cleaned up. The book’s abstractness and Isaac’s fascination with it frustrated Nancy to no end.

Last night, I bought a bottle of off brand Febreeze at Food Lion. You may not know this, but off brand Febreeze works as a terrific “Monster/ Bear/ Robot “ repellent. We have had a tremendous problem recently with Monsters, Bears, and Robots, coming in and sitting on the corner of Isaac’s bed (usually around 4 in the morning.) I brought home the spray and told Isaac, “Three sprays of this will keep monsters and bears out of your room all night. They can’t stand the smell (vaguely coconut and banana.)”

He asked with deep concern, “What about Robots?”

I perused the small print on the back of the bottle. “Yep keeps away robots as well.”

The pictures are from a recent trip that Isaac and I took to the zoo. This is what I learned at the zoo.

1) Instead of waiting for Isaac to whine about wanting to be carried, ask him if you could please carry him. You are going to end up carrying him anyway, might as well be after the word “Please” from you then from a whine from him.

2) The Sponge Bob 3-D moving theater ride is more terrifying then the Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean put together if it is too loud and we are sitting right next to a speaker.

3) If you take Isaac to the North Carolina Zoo, use the “North America” entrance because the first thing Isaac wants to see is the alligators which are a mile and a half away from the “Africa” entrance.

4) If the only animal visible near the fence is the ostrich, stick around and watch the ostrich. He is pretty cool.

5) You can either have a thick small town Southern accent or say really stupid things, but please don’t do both at the same time. It’s like nails on a blackboard to me.

6) If you are hungry enough, overpriced “Corn dog nuggets” are like manna from heaven.

7) The 75 cent light up dinosaur necklace is a better souvenir than the $40 stuffed tiger.

8) Isaac is right about the alligators…they are pretty sweet.

9) Don’t expect a three year old to keep you awake with conversation on the ride home. (He will be asleep before you leave zoo property.)

10) Isaac gets to climb on a lot more things when Nancy doesn’t come with us.

One last thing. If Isaac wakes up before me, he now comes into my room, and says, “Get up! The blue sky is awake!” Try to hear that when you wake up and not smile.

Strength and Honor

Big Matt

P.S. I added a link to my sister Alison's blog. You only need to read a little to see that a dark sense of humor is genetic. Look on the top right of this page.