Do you Feel Like Swimming (HOL 35)

House of Laughter 35

This has been an incredibly busy week. We had a small “baby party” Sunday, with the other graduates from the “Preparing for Childbirth” class. Monday night, Isaac, Nancy and I rested. On Tuesday, the three of us went out to the driving range, watched some fishermen, fed some geese, and went for a long walk. Wednesday was church. Thursday night, I went to play golf with some buddies, while Isaac, Nancy, and our friend Colleen went on a walk. I tried to write Thursday night, but I was just wiped out.

We joined a swimming pool for the summer and last night was supposed to be the big open house. After a long day at work, Nancy and I came home, put on our bathing suits, gathered up what we needed for Isaac and drove over to the pool. As soon as we got checked in, there was a loud crack of thunder and the life guards told everybody to get out of the pool. We hung out for a few minutes, but then the great deluge began.

We ended up running a few errands in the rain. At first I was a little self conscious. I was wearing a bathing suit, muscle t-shirt, and flip flops.. I was relieved to know that I wasn’t the biggest redneck in T.J. Maxx, Food Lion, or the A.B.C. store. In fact, I was mistaken for the manager at the Food Lion.

Isaac has several new tricks. First he can clap. This is important, as it is the first step in the white boy dance.

He can now finally crawl. It’s really funny (to me) because it looks like a very angry, determined crawl. Each arm comes in a complete arc over the head and slaps the tile at full speed making a “whap”. If I put him down, he will be across the room in just a few minutes doing his other new trick…..

He can stand up. He can pull himself up to a standing position with the help of a coffee table, fireplace hearth, or Max. These last two tricks have prompted me to go raid Target’s “Safe Baby department”. I can already picture three months from now, trying to open a drawer, having it stopped by the safety latch for the 400^th time, and finally snapping and yanking the drawer out with full force destroying the cabinetry.

I had an epiphany this week. I have a “Ceasar Cone Elementary School” T-shirt. I wore it this week, and it dawned on me…..When I wear this shirt, it isn’t cool, or hip, or ironic……I just look like some schlub of a dad wearing an elementary school T-shirt. (When do I get to be cool….WHEN?)

My last little morsel for the night is the tale of Isaac at the pool. My expectation was reasonable. I thought that I would carry Isaac into the pool, and having lived completely submerged in liquid for nine months, he would be swimming gracefully around the pool in the time it took him to remember his gestation….not so much.

We walked to the pool, and by the time we arrived he had fallen asleep. First rule of parenting….1) Do Not wake a Sleeping baby (Second rule…Do not wake a sleeping baby). I changed clothes and jumped into the adult pool. The water was still a little cool, but it felt good to be floating. The smell of sunscreen and chlorine mixed with the sound of a tinny radio, and it felt like summer. The pool cantina even sells banana Laffy Taffy and watermelon Jolly Ranchers to round out the summertime sensory experience.

I was doing my Zen back float, when I opened my eyes, and saw Nancy holding a wide awake Isaac. We changed him into his swim diapers (conveniently already covered in Pooh…..sorry), and he and I walked over to the kiddie pool. Only as soon as we got near the water, he went bat shit. He wanted nothing to do with the little fountains, and the ¾ of a millimeter deep water was too much for him, so I pulled out the big guns. I had to small rubber dinosaurs I had bought the night before. I gave him the dinosaurs and he calmed down.

We sat for a while, and I took the dinosaurs, and put them just out of reach in the direction of the fountains. He reluctantly leaned forward to grab them, and when he did, I slid forward a few inches. We would then repeat the process every few minutes. It took about an hour, but he finally got into water that was about 6 inches deep.

I would like to take a minute to explain a few things about a kiddie pool to those who don’t have kids. For a child, the point of a kiddie pool is to get all of the water out of a kiddie pool. There was a team of about 6 kids who did nothing but load up buckets and dump trucks with water and dump them into the grass. There are very few rules in a kiddie pool. Kids will climb on you, hit you, splash you, run over your child, and, God forbid, if you flash the kid an ugly look or accidentally call him a “little bastard” their parent will give you the “I hate you” look.

After a couple of hours in the small pool, I decided that it was time for the big pool. We put him in a life vest (stupid idea), and he and I climbed into the big pool. He was not happy, but Nancy pointed out that it was the vest that was making him uncomfortable, so I took it off him, and he calmed down.

At first he was very clingy, but after a few minutes, he was splashing and having a great time. Eventually I would only have to hold on to him with just one hand.

You don’t always know the moments that are going to stick with you forever. There are some memories I have that can make me smile even when I feel very lonely or bored. These are the times when everything in the world is right, and you are doing what you were put on this earth to do.

Swimming with Isaac today is a memory I will go back to for the rest of my life. At important milestones in his life, I will think of today, and tear up when I remember how my little boy overcame his fear and learned that I wouldn’t let go of him.

Finally, take a moment this weekend and think of the men and women who have given their lives in service to the United States. Go and thank at least one member of the armed services (current or former) for the sacrifice they made.

Strength and Honor

Big Matt