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Worst.....Parents......Ever......(HOL 48)

House of Laughter 48

Nancy called me at work Friday afternoon to tell me that Isaac was sick when she picked him up at daycare. He was hacking like a Chihuahua with a fur ball, and had a fever. She had called the doctor, and was waiting to hear back. I was a little nervous because she was going out of town with some girlfriends for the weekend, so not only would I be home with a sick a baby, I would have to cancel our trip to Carowinds with our friends, Jeff, Adam, and Daniel on Saturday.

I ran to the grocery store after work, and when I came home, Nancy was sobbing. “I just can’t leave him.” I feel my job as a husband is to support my wife’s decision, knowing full well I will have to support her decision after she changes her mind three times in 20 minutes. My only advice to her was if you go, I have to deal with a sick baby by myself. If you stay, I have to deal with a sick baby, and a crazy wife by myself.

She eventually decided to go (Don’t worry, I already contacted the judges at the “Worst Mother of the Year” contest.). Isaac was up every few hours and was hot with fever. My friend Michael told me you don’t know what it means to be vulnerable until you have children. Don’t tell Nancy, but there were a couple of times Friday night that I felt like I was in over my head. Every four hours I would give him a cocktail of Tylenol and cough syrup (Both were “grape medicine” flavored), and slather him down with “Vick’s Baby Rub” (invented in Greensboro by the way.)

I had about four hours of sleep Friday. I was at the pediatrician’s office as soon as the doors opened. The doctor listened to his lungs, and assured me he just had a little cold, his lungs were clear, and (I swear I’m not making this up) to tell my wife that I could handle it.

I spent the rest of Saturday watching movies (Monster House….pretty good!) and football (Go Gators!). Isaac wasn’t interested in eating, but it turns out he really likes “Marshmallow Ghost Peeps”.

The extra hour of sleep Saturday night did both of us a world of good. I got up, got him fed and dressed and the house clean by 10:00. I knew I wanted to get out of the house. The Panthers weren’t playing until 8:30 p.m. The Children’s Museum didn’t open until one. The Corn Maze in High Point didn’t open until one. Then thanks to a genetic predisposition to manic episodes, I grabbed the diaper bag, put Isaac in the back of the car and drove to Carowinds in Charlotte.

It was surprisingly crowded. It was the last day of the year, and they had a Halloween event for the kids, a junior cheerleading competition, and a “Make-a-Wish” day. The place was thick with kids. Also I didn’t bring a stroller, so I ended up carrying the boy and the diaper bag everywhere.

People have asked me, why take him there? He won’t remember. My answer: I will. I enjoy being with him. He is fascinated by everything. I like seeing things through his eyes. If he hears music he dances. He isn’t afraid of anything. Besides we will have cool pictures to show off. I know it is foolish to take him, and it is hard work, but we had a great time.

We rode the Sky Tower, Boot’s Balloon Race, Lazytown Sporticopters, Dora’s Train, and Lil Bill’s Cruisers. Lil Bill’s Cruisers was a boat ride in a round concrete channel filled with water. The boats floated but were attached to a central motor by steal rods. Unfortunately, I had to ride with him, and it almost became Lil Bill’s submarine ride when I got onboard. Between each ride, we would walk around and listen to music or look at other rides or check out other kid’s costumes.

One of my favorite moments was near the end of the day. Isaac loved watching the coasters zip around overhead. The “Top Gun” roller coaster goes under the sidewalk through a tunnel. On our way out of the park, he stood on the edge of the sidewalk and watched the coaster zoom under his feet with a deafening roar, the wind from the ride blowing his hair back. He never flinched.

Maybe next year we will do that one.

Strength and Honor,
Big Matt

You Make Everything Groovy (HOL 47)

House of Laughter 47

Isaac just went to sleep. I read him “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” by Eric Carle. When we got to the pages where the caterpillar ate through different fruits (leaving holes in the pages), Isaac would stick his fingers through the holes. I would grab his finger from the back side of the page and he would laugh. It was as funny the first time as it was at the end when the caterpillar ate through a leaf.

Nancy is at the church helping to prepare for the Halloween festival. This just another reason I love my church. It’s Halloween, not “Fall Festival” or “Harvest Celebration”. We have had haunted houses and scary costumes (including a great evil clown costume last year.) Isaac is going as “Max” from “Where the Wild Things Are” (This is what happens when you have a librarian mother.) Nancy made a really cool costume, and I bought him a little plush Wild Thing. I was going to dress up as a Wild Thing, but couldn’t decide if I wanted to be Neve Campbell or Denise Richards (Sorry).

Nancy is also going away with some girlfriends this weekend, so Isaac and I are going to have the run of the house. I’m planning on taking him to Carowinds Saturday with Jeff Sasser and his two boys, Adam and Daniel. Isaac is tall enough to ride on nine different rides. I can list them from memory which is more than a little sad.

Isaac has developed a new habit that I will have to get a picture of some morning. He has two stuffed dogs he sleeps with “Max” and “Buddy Bassett”. In the morning, he gets up and carries these two dogs everywhere he goes. Of course he calls them both “Cat”, but it is still pretty damn cute.

Right now he is really into cars and dinosaurs. I bought him a set of three cars with a tractor trailer. They were “Mega Blocks” (a cheap knockoff of Lego), so the cars come apart. When he is home he either has one of those cars or a stuffed dog in his hand at all times.

In his new class at school, they do art projects. I know it is just a Xerox copy of the outline of a brontosaurus, with three yellow lines scribbled on it, but you wouldn’t believe the skill and precision he put into the work. Wait until you see his minimalist deconstruction of “Fire Dog”. He put black spots all over the dog, and the fire house…..brilliant!!! My buddy Dan says that in parenting, sanity is a disadvantage.

We went to Virginia Beach this weekend. I went to a conference and Nancy hung out with her family. Nancy didn’t know her parents were going to be there. They arrived about five hours before us and checked into the same hotel. I knew which room they were in, and I walked Nancy, carrying a sleepy Isaac, to the door and tried my key. My in-laws were hiding in the dark on the other side of the door. The door opened, and Nancy walked into the darkened room, and noticed that there were already suitcases opened on the floor. She turned to leave, and my mother in law turned on the light.

Nancy said the “Brown” word very loudly as she was running for the door. It was pretty funny. Nancy’s parents watched him Saturday night, so we could go out on a date to see “The Prestige” (it rocked….go see it before you read or hear anything about it.).

Life is good here. I will write again after Saturday and post some Halloween party and Carowinds pics.

Strength and Honor

Big Matt

Two Hours of Crying on Two Lanes (HOL 46)

House of Laughter 46

We just came back from a quick trip to Florida for my birthday/ roller coaster trip/ University of Florida homecoming. Isaac had a 102 fever, and “Mustard Butt” for the whole trip, but was pretty pleasant for most of it. He can travel exactly seven hours before he goes ballistic and wants to get out of his car seat. Unfortunately the trip is nine hours long, so the last two hours there and back were on dark, two lane country roads with a baby crying almost non stop for 120 minutes.

We assumed it was teething that was the root cause of the fever, stink, and general crankiness, but his cousin, aunt, Nancy and I, also became a little ill. He stayed home from daycare for the last two days. Nancy took the first day, and he was feeling much better last night. Through the night, things became worse with the screaming and the Gulden’s spicy brown spread all over the…..never mind.

I stayed home from work with him today. I’m glad I did. He divided his time evenly between napping and whining. There was a comic strip in the paper last week that had a great quote. “With parenting, the years fly by, but the days are long.” The point is, I’m tired. It was a long day.

Back to the trip. We went to the U.F. homecoming parade with all my nieces and nephew. There were six children under the age of five and six adults in a hot crowded parade route. Isaac did not care for the loud motorcycles and fire engines that started the festivities, but he seemed to enjoy everything else. We stayed for two hours, and there was no apparent end to the parade, so we left. That afternoon, I went swimming with my four year old niece, Cassidy. She would climb on my shoulders, I would stand up, and then fall face first into the pool. As soon as I came up for air, Cassidy was ready to climb back on for another ride.

She called this game “Sweaty Dolphin”. I have no idea how she came up with this name, but can just imagine the reaction when she tells her teacher about playing “Sweaty Dolphin” with he uncle in the swimming pool.

Saturday morning, Nancy and I got up and cashed in out Christmas present from 2005: Two tickets to Universal Studios, and a day of baby sitting. Friday night, I had a twinge of guilt about leaving him to go ride roller coasters when he was feeling sick. I then realized Nancy and I had not spent a day alone together for over a year, and hadn’t been on a thrill ride together for at least two years. When we left Saturday morning, Isaac was crying. We made it about 30 minutes before I pulled out my cell phone to call and check on him and made myself stop. If things were bad, mom would call. It he was still crying, I would feel guilty for the day.

The irony is when we did call to check in around 11:00, Isaac was having a great time, and this almost made Nancy cry. She was missing him terribly, and how dare he not miss her? A ride on the “Revenge of the Mummy” coaster took her mind off it.

It was a great trip, but I am ready to get back to my normal schedule.


Strength and Honor

Big Matt