You Would Cry Too if it Happened to You (HOL 54)

House of Laughter 54

I am very sorry if you missed our church’s Christmas party for children at our house last Friday night, because it will never happen again as long as I am still alive. It may happen after I accidentally overdose on Xanax, or if Nancy marries a better Daddy for Isaac, but it is not happening again on my watch.

Everything started okay. The kids were a little wild, but I believe that kids need to let loose every now and then. About the time I discovered two children had pulled the utility room door off the track, Isaac had a meltdown. We hit his bedtime, and he hadn’t napped much that day. I took Isaac back to our bedroom and tried to calm him down in our bed. Each time Isaac fell asleep, a child would scream, the dog would bark, or a door would slam, and he would wake up angrier than ever.

I promised Isaac that if he acted like some of the children at the party, he would get a spanking. I love Isaac very much, but he needs to be just a little afraid of me.

I actually had a pretty smart moment of discipline this week, and I’m a little proud of myself. When Isaac is done with a meal, he throws what is left of his meal on the ground. I’ve scolded him, taken the food away, and even popped him on his hand, nothing seemed to work. During “Second Breakfast” Monday morning, he started throwing Cheerios on the ground. I let him throw them, and when he had thrown them all, I made him pick up every single one, and give them to me. It took much longer than had I just let the dog come and eat them, but at least he may connect his action with the consequence. The next day he only through two, and I made him pick them up. This morning, nothing was thrown.

Monday night we took Isaac out to Castle McCullough to see the Christmas lights. Castle McCullough is an old Gold Mine shaped like a Scottish castle where they have weddings and Renaissance festivals. This year they had a Christmas trail with lights, elves, choirs, magic Christmas trees, Santa….the whole Meghilla. Isaac insisted on walking most of it by himself. It was like a big haunted house, except you thought someone was going to jump out and hug you. The path wound through the castle, through the “Electric Mariachi” room, and out back to where the creepy guy in the Grinch costume in kept asking kids if their “Mommies were Pretty”.

The Grinch asked Isaac if “his Daddy married his Mommy because she was so pretty?”. I looked him in the eye and said, I knocked her up, she was starting to show, and people were asking questions.” The Grinch realized he was in over his head, and moved on to harass the next family.

We all had a great time though.

Speaking of Christmas, Isaac received an incredible camel hair vest from our friend Roland Russoli who is visiting the U.S. from Mongolia for a couple of weeks. We will get a picture of him in it on the next post. (No, it doesn’t still smell like camel.)

Strength and Honor,

Big Matt

P.S. We saw the Christmas play “Beautiful Star” at Triad Stage on Sunday afternoon. It is an incredible show, and features some original and some very old Appalachian Christmas music. I know December is busy, but if you make the time to see this show, you won’t be disappointed.