Sleighbells, Reindeer, and Snow (HOl 108)

HOL 108

It dawned on me in the middle of December that between Charlie Brown’s Christmas special, the Advent liturgies at church, and Delilah, I was hearing more about how people get depressed at Christmas than enjoy it, and I found it was rubbing off on me.

It dawned on me that I had a four year old, and was in the middle of a precious few years where reindeer really fly, and Santa really visits. We had a great snowy shut-in weekend before Christmas. We called it our “Practice Christmas”.

Christmas Eve was incredible. Isaac was asked to bring in the Christ candle for the service. This was also the first time I let him light and hold his own candle for the candlelight sing along at the end of the service.

We had Christmas Eve dinner with our friends David and Debbie at one our favorite restaurants, Phoenix Asian cuisine. We then met Mike and Kari at our house to watch Charlie Brown and the Grinch and to enjoy liquor store cupcakes. (They were called Irish car bombs and they were incredible.)

Bed time came, cookies were set out. The celery we had planned for reindeer food had gone bad, so we left out an apple. We read our stories and said our prayers and then Isaac and I sat in his bed looking out the window for Santa. I stayed for a lot longer than I expected at one point I even thought to myself, “I wish Santa would hurry up and fly by, because I have to get some presents out.” Lying in bed with Isaac and looking out that window with anticipation will be one of the moments I remember as long as I live.

Santa came and left toys and books (for some reason Santa always leaves books at our house!). After all of the presents were opened and played with, Isaac found a big present down stairs by the chimney, a battery operated scooter. (Do not call it a motorcycle, or Isaac will correct you….it is in fact a scooter.)

Santa even gave Nancy and I tickets to Avenue Q and Merlefest which makes us even more excited about the slowly approaching spring.

The next few weeks were a blur of family visits, road trips, spending time with friends, and going to see one of my favorite new movies, “The Fantastic Mr. Fox.”

It was a great Christmas.

Hang in there Dick Clark.

Strength and Honor
Big Matt


P.S. Right now Isaac is singing "Ants on the ground! Ants on the ground!"

Por favor Mantegan Si Alejado de las Puertas (HOL 107)

HOL 107

I decided that when we went to Florida for Thanksgiving, Isaac and I were going to go to a theme park. No one with any sense would go with us knowing that all of the theme parks in central Florida would be at full capacity the day after Thanksgiving. I could not help myself. Isaac is at the perfect age, where a chance to meet Lightning McQueen, Spiderman, Brer Bear, or Darth Vader would not just be a photo-op with a sweaty teen in a filthy costume, but a chance for him to meet the heroes and villains from books, movies and his dreams in real life.

Saint Andrew (patron saint of theme parks) gave Isaac and I two parkhopper tickets to Disney. We drove down early Friday morning and hit Disney Studios right when it opened. It was not a good sign when I overheard one astonished cast member tell another, “I’ve never seen a line that long!” referring to ever growing queue for the Toy Story ride. Isaac and I got in line.

We waited and waited, but we were never bored. Isaac and I talked and looked at the scenery. He never once asked me to buy him anything or how much longer we were going to have to wait. It was easier than waiting in line with Nancy.

The boy and I had a blast on the new ride launching 3-D darts and pies at Buzz, Woody and the rest of Toy Story gang. We wandered down the street to the 3-D Muppetvision movie which was also a big hit with the boy. The crowd was really starting to get thick, so we retreated to the Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground and Isaac found a slide made out of a giant roll of Kodak film (what the hell is film?) He climbed the hill and slid down the giant roll of film again and again. I started to round him up to leave, and realized, everywhere else in the park was going to be packed, and he was happy, and I was happy. Why bother?

We explored and ran around the playground until the Star Wars Jedi training show started. I had packed a light saber in my back pack just in case we saw Darth Vader. The show consists of pulling kids out of the audience, dressing them in Jedi robes, handing them a light saber, and giving them a chance to take a whack a guy in an extremely realistic Vader costume, while a Disney photographer snaps away. Isaac didn’t want to take part, but I did feel like Dad of the year with him sitting on my shoulder waving his light saber at the Darth Vader on stage. This went well until the bright red, horned, Darth Maul jumped down into the audience and wandered around sneering at tourists.

Isaac tapped me on the head and said, “Let’s go now!” He made sure he put the light saber away so Maul would not feel threatened. We then rode the flight simulator, Star Tours, which Isaac really enjoyed.

Our next stop was the Tower of Terror. We talked about what to expect in the creepy haunted tower while we waited in line. I kept reassuring him that it was going to be scary, but I would not let anything hurt him, and I would hold on to him tightly the whole time. I also promised after the ride, we would go and buy a Star Wars matchbox car. After 20 minutes in line, the little girl in front of us who had been listening to our conversation pulled her mom close and asked, “Are you going to hold on to ME while we ride?”.

The ride went well until the freefall portion. I looked over at Isaac and could see his leg trembling. My exact thoughts were,”He is either having a seizure or peeing himself, either way, I can’t stop this ride.” I told him to hold on, and that it would be just one more drop. When we arrived at the station, he had a glazed look on his face.

I told him, “It’s over. You did good.”

He shook his head a little bit and smiled.

We went to pick out his matchbox car and on the way to the store, we passed a photo op area with Mike Wazoski and James Sullivan from Monsters Inc. When I got to the display with the cars, I didn’t see Isaac anywhere. I immediately went into full on panic mode yelling at the top of my lungs “Isaac! Where are you?” I was so loud that people on the other side of busy open air plaza stopped and looked at me.

I was surprised how quickly I panicked. There was no gradual transition from mild concern to “Let’s stare at the crazy man.” I truly did not care if I looked like the biggest idiot in the world. Isaac had stopped just beyond my field of vision to watch Mike and Sully, but came running when he heard me call. When my heart rate settled back down, Isaac and I split a big bucket of Caramel corn and watched people. I felt sorry for the families who were clearly exhausted, but had an over eager parent forcing them to see everything, no matter how miserable everyone was.

There were Christmas decorations up already all over the park which made for some surreal sites like the blue Power Ranger posing in front of a Nativity Scene.

Isaac insisted on watching the Automobile stunt show, and then we drove over to The Kingdom to ride “Pirates”. Isaac has seen a Japanese copy of “Song of the South” and was excited to finally ride Splash Mountain. He made me pack rain ponchos, and I am glad that he did because it was so cold, that everything else in the park had an hour wait, except Splash Mountain, which you could walk right on.

We waited halfway through the line of Thunder Mountain and he said, “Dad, I’m tired, I want to go home.” We got out of line, and I asked if he wanted to do something else.
“Nope, I just want to go home”.

He was asleep before we officially left the Reedy Creek improvement district.

We had a remarkable day, which I will never forget. Hopefully next time, Darth Maul will be gone, and a shepherd will chase off the Power Ranger.

Strength and Honor,
Big Matt

Say "Uncle!" (HOL 106)

House of Laughter106

Being an Uncle is having all of the fun stuff of being a parent, but with considerably less effort. I will probably not have any more kids of my own, but I love all four of my nieces and my nephew.

My sister’s daughter, Lily, makes me laugh out loud. Her personality and wit remind me so much of my grandmother. Her brother Eli is so gentle and tenderhearted and is always so excited to see Isaac.

There are three nieces on Nancy’s side of the family. Cassidy will always have a special place in my heart. She is the dancer, performer, and princess. Faith is extremely clever and full of spunk. She is feisty and energetic. Jordyn, being the youngest, has adapted by being strong willed and independent. She and Isaac, the closest in age, have always had a love/hate relationship.

I see so much of not just their parents, but the extended family in each child.

I taught Lily the “Alpha-butt” song to her delight, and my sister’s chagrin. I flip Faith in the air and wrestle. I answer Cassidy’s call to play again and again until I am tired or dizzy. I make a point to tell each child I love them and miss them.

I won’t pretend things always work out perfectly. Kids fight. I get tired and snap. I want to have uninterrupted time with my adult family and in-laws without having to stop everything to get juice. The noise and mess created goes up exponentially with each child in the house.

I have to keep reminding myself that someday they will eat their Thanksgiving dinner and then go out with their friends. They will be too busy studying for finals to make a trip up to North Carolina.

Each time I see them, I am reminded of how fast time moves and that we have to enjoy every moment.

My dad comes from a big family and so I have a mixed bag of uncles to choose as role models, but at one point or another in my life each have been important to me. Some are long gone, some have set examples with their lives by being strong family men and hard workers, and one is earnestly trying to make up for past mistakes.

I hope one day I can be a trusted mentor and friend to each of these kids. For now, I will settle for being a monster, pony, sweaty dolphin (don’t ask), magician, singer, ballet attendee, knock-knock joke teller, dive watcher, bad impressionist, roller coaster buddy, but mostly co-conspirator in making their parents crazy.

Strength and Honor,
Big Matt

Hello, I’m Johnny Effing Cash. (HOL 105)

House of Laughter 105

I take some measure of pride that Isaac can pick out a Johnny Cash, White Stripes or Mountain Goats song even if he has never heard it before just by listening to the instruments and voices. This will be an important skill for his future geekdom.

We were listening to Sirius radio on the way home from Florida Monday night, and the Cash song, “Big River” came on. I didn’t think Isaac was familiar with it, so I waited until the end and asked, “Isaac, do you know who that was singing?”

As soon as I asked, the “Outlaw Country” DJ, Mojo Nixon announced, “That was “Johnny fucking Cash!”

Isaac piped up from the back seat, “It was Johnny Cash, but he said it was ‘Johnny fucking Cash”.

As much as I appreciate Mojo’s enthusiasm for Cash’s body of work, I didn’t realize it was he was going to voice it in such a colorful manner. Thanks Mojo!

I looked at Nancy and could tell she was going to be no help at all. She was doing everything she could to stifle laughter. I was just flabbergasted, not just at the word coming out of my son’s mouth, but the impeccable comedic timing of the universe.

I calmly explained that he was not in trouble, but that was an adult word. If he ever said it at church, school, or around us, he would get in trouble. (Maybe not church, Depends on who is doing the children’s sermon I suppose.)

Last week Isaac came downstairs and told me that he found a picture of the hole monster in one of his books. I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What is a hole monster?’ The look he gave me conveyed a sense of pity for his poor simpleton father.

“You know, the hole monster that ate Boba Fett!”

“Sarlacc son….use the scientific name.”

For Christmas, my folks gave Isaac a stuffed grizzly bear two pack: A mother and baby bear. I can’t tell you how much joy I have gotten watching Isaac introduce the two bears two his favorite sleep toy, “Blackie Bear”. Evidently they are all cousins.

Strength and Honor.
Big Matt

P.S. Come back later this week. I am planning on posting more stories about the holidays.

Time Flies like an Arrow. Fruit Flies Like a Banana (HOL 104)

Time Flies Like an Arrow. Fruit Flies Like a Banana. (HOL 104)

Forgive me reader it has been three months since my last blog. A couple of recent comments from readers prompted me to look back at some of my old blogs. I was a little surprised that I laughed out loud at my own writing.

In the last few months, we have done a lot of travelling, and I have tried to dedicate more of my free time to exercise and practicing the guitar. It is also hard to concentrate on writing when your muse wants to play Batman, watch a movie, or have a lightsaber fight with you.

I found a sheet of paper on my desk with some notes for a blog that never got written back in October.

This morning Isaac asked me to sing, “The Monster Song”. I assumed he meant, “Monster Mash”, but that wasn’t what he was looking for. After a dozen questions, I realized he was referring to the clip from “Young Frankenstein” we had watched on youtube a couple of nights before.

I went to another Chuck E Cheese party for one of Isaac’s classmates. I found another dad to sit and drink beer with. Isaac was much bolder with his buddy, “Sam” around. I normally can’t get him to climb in the tunnels especially if it is busy and wild (which it was that night.) With his partner in crime, he was fearless. This was both encouraging and slightly nerve racking.

Isaac won a bag of cotton candy and on the way home from Chuck E. Cheese enthusiastically reported to me, “Dad, this Cotton Candy is so good…. I can’t feel my mouth.”

I will write more about the holidays and our trip to Disney later this week.

Strength and Honor.

Big Matt