Showers (CTL 17)

Countdown to Laughter

Issue 17

It’s hot. Man oh man it’s hot. Several public thermometers I saw today were in the triple digits, and I believed them. All the news programs said that today was a “Red” Day for ozone meaning it was only suitable for zombies, and Canadian geese (nothing kills those things.) Oh and one more thing….the air conditioner in Nancy’s library isn’t working. Still she hasn’t complained. I have a bad feeling that she is saving up all the complaining for the delivery time.

We had our last official shower Monday at my job, and again Nancy and I were blown away by people’s generosity. Isaac got a “Hugh Hefner” style bathrobe. (I call it his smoking jacket.) One of the nurses gave him his first roller coaster (One of those boards with bright colored beads on stiff bendy wires.) This same nurse gave us baby powder scented shelf paper to line the insides of the dresser. I kid you not. The nursery smells like a nursery is supposed to. Four of the girls at work, pooled their time and talents and produced a beautiful baby blanket. We got all kinds wonderful toys, outfits, and bath accessories.

I felt a little awkward at all the showers we had. I guess that’s the guy’s job. I know this isn’t my show, everyone is there to see the round lady and the cute little outfits. I just carry the presents out to the car afterwards.

I took a peek at the office “Baby delivery time pool”. The first picks are on August 1. The last pick is August 20. I don’t know who picked August 20, but Nancy hates you.

We took one of our Target gift cards and bought a very cool CD/DVD combo that my friend Ben McFarland recommended. It’s They Might Be Giants “Here come the ABCs”. It’s a really weird, funny collection of songs and cartoons about learning the alphabet. Our poor son is probably going to be as geeky as his old man, but at least he will know his ABCs.

It looks like Isaac won’t share the same birthday as his cousin Cassidy. (July 26)

I can’t believe it was three years ago that she was born! I dragged her mom and dad all over Disneyworld in the July heat the week before she was born. A few months earlier, Nancy, Terri, John and I went on a airboat tour or the Everglades. (Also a bit warm in April.) After the boat ride, we all packed into a small dark theater to see the “Reptile show”, which consisted of a stocky Seminole slinging snakes around over our heads and telling us how long we’d have to live if we got bit by them, but it wouldn’t matter since we are so far out in the swamp at this point anyway. Halfway through the show, one of the four of us passed out. I won’t say who it was so as not to embarrass her, but Nancy’s sister say’s it was the heat, not the snakes that made her faint.

Point of the story. If you have to go slinging live snakes around, please don’t do it in Nancy’s library until they fix the air conditioning or until after she delivers.

Thank you.

Big Matt

P.S. To clarify the whole inducing thing. Later this week, they will set up an appointment to induce one week after the due date because, if you show up for your scheduled induction appointment, and the hospital is full, they will bump you back a few days. If you wait to long, you can’t schedule it. Oh hell just ask Nancy.